We are now only 11 days away from the permanent neutering of college students' favorite alco-caffeinated beverage, Four Loko. Forget 2012: these are the dark days now. Shepherd of the Loko flock Eddie Huang has beenshut down, despondent teens arecrashing their carsall over, and even dear, sweet Bobbi Kristina, daughter of Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston,was caught in picturesin a tornado of Four Loko-fueled lesbian experimentation. Some unscrupulous individuals have even taken to selling the heart-achingly sugary drinkon Craigslist; thankfully, as you can tell from the picture above, a fewNYU studentsstill remember the historical and spiritual significance of the eight nights of Four Loko.
And though they may kill the brand Four Loko, though they may outlaw beverages which combine ridiculously high doses of alcohol and caffeine, they cannot break our spirits—and this we guarantee: for every Four Loko that may fall, a newalcohol infused whipped cream, or a 40-proof alcohol infusedchocolate milk concoction, will rise from its ashes, like a drunken phoenix on Mardi Gras.
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